Presentation on theme: "“The Last Meow” Writing Revisions."— Presentation transcript:
1 “The Last Meow”Writing Revisions
2 What have you got? Underline your thesis statement.
Put a star next to any anecdotes you have.Put a big check mark next to any direct quotes you have in support of your thesis.Put a dollar sign next to any statistics or expert opinions you included.Put a sad face next to a counterargument.Put a big exclamation point next to your conclusion.
3 Revising your INTRODUCTION
Read “Healing the Broken Heart” and answer the questions that follow.Does your essay include an anecdote?Does it have specific details (names, descriptive imagery, titles…)?
4 1. Relate an engaging anecdote from your life or observations
1. Relate an engaging anecdote from your life or observations. Provide sensory details (imagery) and specific names of people, places, and things.If your rough draft doesn’t have an anecdote: Brainstorm – you can put it into a paragraph later.If your rough draft has an anecdote (anywhere), add titles and names and descriptive imagery.
5 Revising your introduction
Formulate a position statement.What do you think about the author’s stance?Make sure you can come up with at least two reasons that support what you think. Evidence must come from the essay “The Last Meow”Write a position statement.Provide two reasons that support your position.Your reasons need to be strong enough to become entire paragraphs.
6 Revising your introduction
Include an author/title reference.In the article “The Last Meow,” Burkhard Bilger shows that ________________________.
7 Put it all together into an Introduction
Anecdote with names and sensory details (2- 3 sentences minimum)Position statement with reasons (2-3 sentences)Author/title reference (1 sentence)
8 Revising Body Paragraphs
Types of supporting evidence you should include:Facts (paragraph 9, 35...)Statistics (paragraph 13...)Statements from authorities (paragraph 37, 38...)Examples (paragraph 10, 16...)Anecdotes (part 1, part 6)(What’s in parenthesis is just a starting point, there are MANY, MANY, MANY more examples of each type of evidence in the long article, “The Last Meow,” and your essay, and thus your grade, will benefit from your finding and using them)
9 Body Paragraphs revision, part two
Identify your reason for agreeing with or not agreeing with the author’s viewpoint. Support your reason with two pieces of evidence from the article and your explanation of the importance of each piece of evidence. (Do this twice – one for each body paragraph)Reason: Pets are more valuable than money because you cannot put a price on feeling.Support: In the article, Karen Levering says, “I don’t know what I would have done without the cats.” (paragraph 21)Explanation: Levering is explaining how her cats helped her make it though a physically and emotionally painful time. Without the cats, who knows what may have happened to her. It could be argued that the cats saved her life.
10 Counterargument (paragraph 4)
Give a reason someone may disagree with your position.Find and quote or paraphrase support from the article.Explain the quote.(this is what you did for your support body paragraphs, but with just the opposite arguments)
11 ConclusionRestate your thesis in a new way, perhaps rebutting the counterargument from paragraph four. (1-2 sentences)Restate the argument from “The Last Meow” and include why you agree or disagree with it. (1 sentence)Create a “call to action” suggesting what your readers should do about the situation. (1-2 sentences)
12 CitationsIn your essay, just put the paragraph number in parenthesis at the end of a sentence, but before the period.EX: Levering explained his dilemma by stating, “My wife is totally wiped out about this” (paragraph 7).EX: A study at the State University of New York found that people with pets have less stress (paragraph 22).After your essay – skip two lines and put your work cited exactly like this:Bilger, Burkhard. “The Last Meow.” New Yorker 8 Sept Web. 5 Jan
The New Yorker, September 8, 2003 P. 46
ANNALS OF VETERINARY MEDICINE about the ever more sophisticated medical measures available for ill pets... Follows a cat, Lady, through dialysis and a kidney transplant... Lady arrived looking ravaged and ravishing, Shawn Levering waited with her in the Animal Medical Center on New York's Upper East Side. Levering had come from Wilmington Delaware. Dr. Cathy Langston, the veterinarian explained that Lady was suffered chronic kidney failure and suggested dialysis to buy her time to see if a candidate for transplant was available, and laid out the risks involved. The center has eighty-five veterinarians, and each is a specialist. Little more than twenty years ago, all vets were general practitioners, and neutering and spaying were their most elaborate procedures. "We're looking at a thousand dollars in the next twenty-four hours. Between three and four thousand in the next week," Langston told Levering. Then Lady would have to be transferred the to University of Pennsylvania, where vets were more experienced at performing transplants. Lady was already anemic, asthmatic, and congenitally blind. She had already become allergic to her own tooth enamel and had all her teeth pulled. The Animal Medical Center and the University of Pennsylvania are the Mayo Clinic and Mass General of their field. The A.M.C. keeps thirteen donor greyhounds and twenty-six donor cats and three ferrets to ensure a steady supply of blood. They often treat exotics, common in New York, where many owners are dog-averse. Director Guy Pidgeon was in practice when most vets were generalists, and has lived through the change. His staff likes to tease him about the time his father, a farmer, came to visit and couldn't understand why he was giving oxygen therapy to two prairie dogss. Back home in Nebraska, farmers waged holy war on them. The pet-owners who bring their animals are not dragon-ladies who kiss their lapdogs on the lips. Lady's owners, like many in the waiting room, could scarcely afford the procedures they were buying for their animals. Shawn Levering cares for the disabled and live in a three-room apartment outside Wilmington. His wife Karen has been too ill to work after an automobile accident. Author visited them at their home. They have two other cats, whom they rescued. Karen describes how, while recuperating, the cats comforted her. "I don't know what I would have done without the cats... the pain was so extreme that I would just to the bathroom and cry." Lady seemed to sense her moods. She would leap onto the bed at night and nestle on her chest. Karen suspected her feeling for Lady were partly misplaced mothering instincts... Describes the operation where Jasper, the donor-cat, has a kidney removed. Dr. Aronson, who is thirty-six, has been transplanting animal kidneys for ten years... Most veterinarians make around sixty thousand a year, and veterinary training can be as costly and rigorous as medical training. Although malpractice suits are rare, that may be changing. Recently, owners have been suing for emotional damage: a man whose neighbor shot his Labrador retrievers with arrows is suing for three hundred thousand dollars. "The more people spend in their pets, the more that cost is going to be reflected in the law," Geordie Druckler, the retriever-owner's lawyer says. Vets say rising malpractice will hurt vets and pass the cost on to the patient's owners... Describes the sometimes extreme measures owners go through to prolong the lives of suffering pets, as with Taberia, a mastiff suffering the final stages of liver cancer... Lady's transplant is successful... Americans spend nineteen billion a year on veterinary bills, up from eleven billion seven years ago... Lady will have to take five hundred dollars of immunosuppressants a year for the rest of her life. "It would be hard not to have Lady around," Shawn says.